Love Mum! (Monday, October 11, 2010 / 3:24 AM)
I Love My MUM!!
I was down today maybe its becuase today was the first time i didnt reply ur msg but i knoe u wouldnt care if i were to msg u at all or not. Waited and waited but ur name didnt appear at my phone so i guess ur slowly going to ur own way. Ayte den. Must not put hopes anymore on u.
K back, today i was so down. Was alone from morning (Aku jogging srg! meet twinney) till 10+ at night to have dinner wif mum and after dat have a talk den alone again. But the different between being alone in the morning and right now is im getting stronger after my mum talk to me. She started talking to me bout her past love story. I was like ok. Soooo not the time. But her story makes me feel that when sum1 u love had gone, doesnt mean ur life is gone too. U r still alive? smth like dat.
Den tetibe she said whether im attached i was like no! Im telling the truth ryte? aha.. Den she asked hows me and S and i was like OMG! u r sooo outdated! ahaha... S att and i told my mum it was my fault cause i hurt S. Then she was like ouhkk (dlm hati mesti kate bodo nye bdk sakitkn hati pompan jek)..aahaha.. jk2.. I didnt told her bout A and of course W. She wouldnt stop den if i told her. I would love to tell her wat to do now but i guess her advice sumhow helped me without needing her to knoe. :D
My mum somehow managed to nail down in my brain that i must always respect someone especially girls? oso must be gentleman. i dunnoe uh how she do it but till now i had always respect ppl and especially girls till i cant even scold my sax section back den as i was the section leader and my section was all girls. I was so kind dat everytime i carry the chairs for dem and i let dem carry light stuff. the bari sax omg berat nk mampus! i just being a gentleman.ahaha! Although sometimes im a bit selfish when the person i loved walk off, but after a few tries i will give up as ferzly, i respect her decision and secondly i dun like to have competitors.
Example if A and B love C... Just because after a fight A wins B doesnt mean C going with A ryte? geddit? Wat im trying to say here is by the end of the day it will always be the girl decision to choose which guy wat.. -.- sooo if i lose i will just walk off. Just like W used to say, although some of my members back den doesnt support me wif her, by the end of the day she told me she the one who decide. ;)
K so today i learnt something new which came along besides respecting ur partner. So the answer is *drum roll* right after the break.. ahaha! k i suddenly rmbred sum1 accept me after i sound her by writing right after the break den follow i accept u. ahaha! ok2! soo things dat came besides respect was loyalty. Today my mum told me that LOYALTY was really impt. She was like summarizing my whole karma thing as i realise that my karma starts because i didnt LOYAL!!!.
So i finally und and hope by today tis karma is gone since everyone like going seperate ways soo pls stop uh karma.. aku pnat sey. serious shit.
So i guess W had walked away in my life. As i was reading the whole Beautiful Mess, I hightlighted that u said love will cure the hurt in ur heart? Does dat the reason why u r wif hym right now cause u r hurt? But do u really love hym ? hmm... i wonder.. i said it once and i will said it again, last long ayte?? hmm..
I question myself did i really hurt her and after reading the Beautiful Mess i realise dat she didnt start hurting after the break-up but instead way before we were att. Although i wif her, she knew some pieces of my heart was still with sum1 else. She sabar jek. Keep on trying to prove her love for me. Give me support to move on. Love me more each day.I was soo cruel back den omg. :(
u deserve hym i guess so dat u wouldnt be hurt anymore...
im sorry. i really am.. So i guess thats the end of our love stories?
PS: After this karma, i will came back much stronger than before. I wont play with sum1 heart again. I will change and prove myself to others, i did not enjoy breaking girls heart. Instead i cherish it.